Failure vs. "Bad Quitting"

One of my favorite phrases to use when I know I have totally landed flat on my face is "epic faill!" I have no problem claiming my failures. They happen. I'm human. We all are. To me, failing is like doing a belly flop at an Olympic dive competition. You just know that you didn't quite measure up and in that moment there's no coming back from it, BUT there's later! You could always train harder and dedicate yourself to redefining that moment by using the knowledge gained from the failed experience to become awesomer! Solid plan, right? Who doesn't want to be more awesome? 

Unfortunately, when faced with the same dilemma, many people would simply "bad quit."  Bad quitting might've meant not even climbing onto the platform to attempt the dive. It could resemble an angry you storming off without waiting for the event to end to congratulate the winners. There are a number of other behaviors bad quitters might resort to all in the name of avoiding embarrassment or being found out. Over time, I've learned that bad quitting is not nearly as easy as it looks and it does not deserve a celebration! The effects of bad quitting can be long lasting and are usually negative. That's why I try extra hard to avoid it like the plague.

What is "bad quitting" anyway?

Ok, the short definition is, a phrase I made up that basically refers to quitting something for the wrong reason. Of course there are some things that people should quit. For example, smoking, eating too much, excessive spending, staying up late, that list goes on, but that's not the kind of quitting that keeps us from being better people. Bad quitting opens the door to what-if scenarios that could possibly have positive endings. What if I practiced more? What if I spoke up more? What if I said yes to the that scary new job? What if I moved away to that new city? What if? What if? What if? It also invites some pretty heavy feelings to the pity party that are guaranteed to keep you feeling bogged down - regret, depression, fear and so many more. I believe the big difference between failure and bad quitting is that bad quitting robs you of the closure you need to move on. Failing is the only way that you can truly earn your "Been There, Done That" T-shirt & badge. We joke about these badges so much in my family. Failures are super shiny badges of honor and achievement in my opinion.

In my family whenever someone mentions something they think they're horrible at or a huge mistake they've made, the next question is usually, "What did you learn from that?" or "What are you going to do now?" There's always a lesson - a story to share that'll encourage someone else. We just have to get over our embarrassment and keep going! Tell your story and let it motivate you to be awesomer!

So, How do I avoid bad quitting?

I believe that answer lies in asking yourself this question, "Have I done all that I can do to succeed?" A lot of times for me the answer is, "no." At that point, I take a minute to regroup. I think through what didn't go quite right on my last try and develop a new plan. If I have to, I learn more, practice more, or whatever else it takes to achieve a different outcome. When I get to the point where I can honestly answer that same question with a, "yes," I know that I have given my best effort and I accept the F, but not without celebrating the courage I had to try and the persistence I had to see it through. I find closure in this process and I don't feel like I've wasted my time or resources. It also leaves the door open for me to go back to it and try again if I later find that there's something I didn't think of trying yet.

Have you ever fought through the temptation to be a “bad quitter?” How did the situation end?